6 Secrets Exposing the Myth “There isn’t enough time”.
Do you ever feel like there just isn’t enough time?
Or have this guilty feeling, like you are somehow wasting away what time you have?
Cue the music . . .
Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
Fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.
“Time” by Pink Floyd
Or ever felt like Hootie?
“Time why you punish me
Like a wave bashing into the shore
You wash away my dreams
Time why you walk away
Like a friend with somewhere to go
You left me crying
Can you teach me 'bout tomorrow
And all the pain and sorrow running free
'Cause tomorrow's just another day
And I don't believe in time”.
“Time” by Hootie & the Blowfish
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Seriously though, one of the common concerns/struggles that clients often share is how to manage their time.
Either they always feel like they are running out of it or it feels like different interests and demands compete for their time. They just can’t seem to figure out how to do it “all”.
Between full time jobs, relationships, chores, family events, hobbies and passions: add in a part time job, side gig or a desire for full-time self employment and it can often feel like it’s all just too much to handle (and too much to ask for!)
The good news is time is an illusion (heh heh). I know, I know, you’re probably thinking, “thanks Jen for the trite spiritual statement but how does that help me when I have all these things I want to do and have to do?”
I shall answer: have you ever noticed how time feels relative? It can go by very fast when we are doing something we love and it can drag on when we are doing something that bores us. It can haunt us when are dreading something or slip through our fingers when we are saying a goodbye or see you next time.
Time being relative and an illusion is actually a really good thing because it means that there is more to life than what is going on at the surface. Time isn’t what it seems and what we make it seem at the same time.
The fears we have around time are actually evidence of an energy leak that’s been created from listening to the voices of fear and self doubt, instead of listening to the voice of our True Self.
When we start to recognize what is actually fear and also that there’s a place within us which guides us along our path, it gets easier to let go of control of time.
We begin to accept that timing isn’t up to us and it doesn’t have to be. We start to examine and release more of our beliefs about time and practice building trust in what our true path is and the steps that are laid out in front of us.
We can learn how to discern between what feels right to us and what is just the illusion of time creating a distraction.
We can start to learn what it feels like to be in the flow, or what some people say “being in the right place, at the right time” or “it will happen in the right time.”
Ok enough of the spiritual-philosophical level- let’s get to the practical and concrete so we can integrate it with some of the above spiritual truths.
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How do we find balance between the demands of life and our passions?
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How do we make room for a new entrepreneurial path or career while we are still attached to other present day obligations?
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How do we stop using Time as an excuse or a distraction and instead look deeper at what is really going on, what we are choosing and what we are accepting as our status quo?
Let Go of All Or Nothing Thinking
It doesn’t have to be either/or. We are allowed to be multi-passionate beings with many interests and a slew of needs and desires. That’s what being human is all about. First and foremost, acknowledge that you have a lot of needs and desires and that it’s okay!
One Small Step It
Give a little to each. We forget that small steps add up to something. Have you ever heard of Kaizen? It’s the idea that continuously implementing tiny changes over time will lead to really big changes.
Instead of fighting with time, try giving your attention to several things that are important to you with smaller amounts of time. Maybe you can’t spend 4 hours working on developing your online business, but you can spend an hour 3x a week.
Maybe you don’t have the ability to take off from work for a vacation right now but you can take a half day and do something luxurious for yourself.
Releasing the Need for Instant Gratification
There is a very common illusion in this world and technology has contributed to it: the instant gratification factor. What looks like it takes an instant or what is an overnight success often takes people years and years to get to.
We can never get the full picture about someone else’s life and what steps it took them to get to where they are going unless they tell us. This is why it’s so important to keep talking about this stuff!
Stay in the Moment
Be mindful and in the moment when you are doing one thing. Trying to do many things at once without mindfulness will most certainly lead to that “chicken running with it’s head cut off” feeling.
Maybe you have several demands in a day: try to give your full attention to that 10 minute phone call and that when it’s time to get off and make lunch, really be present with the food and what it looks like, feels like and smells like. Then when you head into your car, instead of worry about the rest of your day, stay present. Take in the sounds, the surroundings, the way it feels to sit in your seat.
Examine What Your Reasons Are For Needing to Get It All Done NOW
This is often what holds us back from moving forward. Because of the perfectionism or all or nothing thinking that our mind likes to propel us in, we often think that if we can’t get “it” done now then we might as well not do it all.
I would be curious here. Is this really an emergency? Is there a reason that you are feeling impatient? Are you looking for instant gratification instead of a realistic timeline for what it is that you want?
Lower Your Expectations
This may seem contradictory to some of the earlier statements which suggested acknowledging all of your needs and sharing your attention. The key is, to do the above with curiosity, experimentation and surrender instead of the expectation that something has to get done which leads to driving or forcing yourself to take it all on.
It also means looking at any superhuman tendencies you are expecting of yourself. This is where perfectionism, imposter syndrome and proving yourself mode come in, consistently raising the bar and telling us we aren’t good enough . . . yet . . . but if we just do this next thing . . .
Yeah right! I call malarkey! When we constantly have parts of ourselves raising the bar will always feel less than if we listen to them. Which means we will constantly take on more than we can handle or beat ourselves up when we can’t do it all. Try choosing reasonable and realistic expectations for yourself instead and see what happens!
Trying out some of the above will have you feeling better. You might even find yourself getting exactly what the Rolling Stones were singing about!
“Timeeee is on my side, yes it is”
I hope you enjoyed this article! Please like and share with those who will find it helpful :)
And if you’ve found yourself doing the continuous head nod during this post, you may find my Confident CEO Assessment helpful.
It will assess the 4 areas where Imposter Syndrome shows up, one of them being TIME!
Jen
P.S. We’ve got a lovely group of women already invested in the November Confident CEO Mastery 4 week class “Let go of Self Doubt + Step Into Your Calling”.
We begin first week in November and it’s such an important course I’ve created.
You have gifts.
They are meant to be shared.
Period.
If you are finding that second guessing yourself, indecision and fear of visibility are affecting you from rising up into your full self, check out all the details for this November here: bit.ly/CEOMasteryExperience
The Secret I Learned About Burnout While Committing to Longterm Business Success
I never realized how important having an anchor in my business was until I spent enough time winging it.
Basing my business on passion, creativity, emotion + inspiration was actually keeping me stuck in a pattern of hustle-instant gratification-coast-bumpy road-panic-hustle {repeat}
The pattern above is a recipe for burnout. But the problem was, not the passion, creativity and inspiration {these are still some of the biggest ingredients there are for the reasons why I have a business and the message behind my brand).
It was my unconscious attachment to quick wins, adrenaline hits and struggle that would have me chasing shiny paper endlessly, leaving me with whiplash from leaping left to right, hungry for the next thing that was going to be the answer.
I had no idea I was doing this. Caught in a cycle of constantly proving myself I was using the wins as evidence I could or had "made" it.
I was taking the whole process of developing a business as proof of my worth and didn't realize that the struggles I was experiencing were normal for where I was at.
And also that there were solutions, completely independent of my worth that I couldn't see because I was too busy worrying/scheming/comparing.
Of course, if you've been following my work for awhile, you know that whenever we focus on something outside of ourselves, or another way of looking at this is whenever a younger part of ourself is running the show, this "why" will never last.
It is fleeting, transient, and based on a past that happened already and a fantasy of a future that hasn't happened yet because it comes from a younger part developed through survival, not presence.
The up and down, feast and famine, excitement-anxiety-burn out dynamic wasn't a result of there being something wrong with me or what I had to offer.
It was the parts of myself that were continuously trying to protect me from being hurt so they would talk me out of getting visible, asking for help and trusting.
What goes up must come down and adrenaline is no different. What was left of an upregulated nervous system...was the come down: the fatigued, depressed, side.
After experiencing these ups and downs one too many times, I noticed that I couldn't remain complacent with it anymore. My awareness had finally caught up to the pattern and the witness within me could see it for what it was.
A smoke screen, keeping me from putting myself out there and also avoiding the difficult tasks required for any new learning curve.
All those adult skills, grit, discernment, self trust, discipline, clarity where diamonds in the rough, just waiting to be mined.
When I finally got behind my why in my business, I was tapping into something much deeper. Something substantial.
To truly show up and create something that is long lasting, I needed to show up for the place within myself that is that deep.
Not just to make a quick sale to pay a bill or even long term financial stability (though nothing shabby about either of these things!).
Not just to accomplish something for the day, prove to myself I could do something, feel the adrenaline hit of a new tactic learned or distract and numb out from all the worry about making all these free business webinars I was signing up for (one example of how the frenzy keeps us chasing instead of taking authentic action).
The why lies within the true self.
Here are a few of my deepest whys:
To share wisdom.
To alleviate and end suffering.
To protect children and keep them safe
To educate and bring awareness to the wounded adult population so that they can pass this wisdom down to the next generations.
These are rooted deeply in who I am and the journey I have been through.
Maybe they will evolve, yet they are like strong roots keeping me grounded when the next shiny thing comes along.
With a why, I have a foundation for why I do what I do even when something gets difficult.
It also aligns me with others who are likeminded and feel the same way.
Which means, when I see opportunities for help, support, and collaboration I will be much more likely to intuitively take action with people who are the right fit for me which equals saving time, energy and usually that equates to money as well!
Give it a try. Instead of hungrily awaiting the next thing to come along that will satisfy that unsatiable yearn within, deepen into your own why and discover what it is you truly value.
It can be simply, taking care of your family or creating art for the joy of it but look within and ask yourself why you are doing what you are doing.
This is the first step in getting your business out into the world on solid ground where you are consciously driving what is in your control towards the life and business of your dreams.
Curious to know how proving yourself mode may be showing up as energy leaks, missed opportunities and feast + famine cycles in your biz? Grab the Confident CEO Assessment for FREE here.
xo, Jen
No need for perfectionism
'Be content with learning, and not impatient. We will not be, and cannot be "abruptly lifted up and hurled into reality" (ACIM T-16.VI.8:1). It would terrify us, like a child in kindergarten abruptly being made President, or a first-year piano student being forced to do a solo recital in Carnegie Hall.
Each of us is exactly where we belong, learning just what we need to learn. Let us, then, enter wholeheartedly and joyously into the process, practicing our holy instants, receiving our little glimpses of the real world, each one assuring us of the reality of our goal, and the certainty of its attainment.' ~Allen Watson
I love this. So often in sessions, clients dismiss those special moments of shifts and love, waiting to only give themselves credit when the goal of everlasting happiness is DONE. I do this too. With my own personal work. With my art. Jonesing for an outcome when the fulfillment comes in the now, regardless if it's a beginning, middle or end.
Knowing that we are exactly where we are meant to be and that these glimpses of joy are strengthening our capacity to accept this love is a beautiful way of looking at the process of being patient with where we are at.
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