6 Secrets Exposing the Myth “There isn’t enough time”.

Do you ever feel like there just isn’t enough time?

Or have this guilty feeling, like you are somehow wasting away what time you have?

Cue the music . . .

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
Fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.

“Time” by Pink Floyd

Or ever felt like Hootie?

“Time why you punish me
Like a wave bashing into the shore
You wash away my dreams

Time why you walk away
Like a friend with somewhere to go
You left me crying

Can you teach me 'bout tomorrow
And all the pain and sorrow running free
'Cause tomorrow's just another day
And I don't believe in time”.

“Time” by Hootie & the Blowfish

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Seriously though, one of the common concerns/struggles that clients often share is how to manage their time.

Either they always feel like they are running out of it or it feels like different interests and demands compete for their time. They just can’t seem to figure out how to do it “all”.

Between full time jobs, relationships, chores, family events, hobbies and passions: add in a part time job, side gig or a desire for full-time self employment and it can often feel like it’s all just too much to handle (and too much to ask for!)

The good news is time is an illusion (heh heh). I know, I know, you’re probably thinking, “thanks Jen for the trite spiritual statement but how does that help me when I have all these things I want to do and have to do?”

I shall answer: have you ever noticed how time feels relative? It can go by very fast when we are doing something we love and it can drag on when we are doing something that bores us. It can haunt us when are dreading something or slip through our fingers when we are saying a goodbye or see you next time.

Time being relative and an illusion is actually a really good thing because it means that there is more to life than what is going on at the surface. Time isn’t what it seems and what we make it seem at the same time.

The fears we have around time are actually evidence of an energy leak that’s been created from listening to the voices of fear and self doubt, instead of listening to the voice of our True Self.

When we start to recognize what is actually fear and also that there’s a place within us which guides us along our path, it gets easier to let go of control of time.

We begin to accept that timing isn’t up to us and it doesn’t have to be. We start to examine and release more of our beliefs about time and practice building trust in what our true path is and the steps that are laid out in front of us.

We can learn how to discern between what feels right to us and what is just the illusion of time creating a distraction.

We can start to learn what it feels like to be in the flow, or what some people say “being in the right place, at the right time” or “it will happen in the right time.”

Ok enough of the spiritual-philosophical level- let’s get to the practical and concrete so we can integrate it with some of the above spiritual truths.

1. How do we find balance between the demands of life and our passions?

2. How do we make room for a new entrepreneurial path or career while we are still attached to other present day obligations?

3. How do we stop using Time as an excuse or a distraction and instead look deeper at what is really going on, what we are choosing and what we are accepting as our status quo?

Let Go of All Or Nothing Thinking

It doesn’t have to be either/or. We are allowed to be multi-passionate beings with many interests and a slew of needs and desires. That’s what being human is all about. First and foremost, acknowledge that you have a lot of needs and desires and that it’s okay!

One Small Step It

Give a little to each. We forget that small steps add up to something. Have you ever heard of Kaizen? It’s the idea that continuously implementing tiny changes over time will lead to really big changes.

Instead of fighting with time, try giving your attention to several things that are important to you with smaller amounts of time. Maybe you can’t spend 4 hours working on developing your online business, but you can spend an hour 3x a week.

Maybe you don’t have the ability to take off from work for a vacation right now but you can take a half day and do something luxurious for yourself.

Releasing the Need for Instant Gratification

There is a very common illusion in this world and technology has contributed to it: the instant gratification factor. What looks like it takes an instant or what is an overnight success often takes people years and years to get to.

We can never get the full picture about someone else’s life and what steps it took them to get to where they are going unless they tell us. This is why it’s so important to keep talking about this stuff!

Stay in the Moment

Be mindful and in the moment when you are doing one thing. Trying to do many things at once without mindfulness will most certainly lead to that “chicken running with it’s head cut off” feeling.

Maybe you have several demands in a day: try to give your full attention to that 10 minute phone call and that when it’s time to get off and make lunch, really be present with the food and what it looks like, feels like and smells like. Then when you head into your car, instead of worry about the rest of your day, stay present. Take in the sounds, the surroundings, the way it feels to sit in your seat.

Examine What Your Reasons Are For Needing to Get It All Done NOW

This is often what holds us back from moving forward. Because of the perfectionism or all or nothing thinking that our mind likes to propel us in, we often think that if we can’t get “it” done now then we might as well not do it all.

I would be curious here. Is this really an emergency? Is there a reason that you are feeling impatient? Are you looking for instant gratification instead of a realistic timeline for what it is that you want?

Lower Your Expectations

This may seem contradictory to some of the earlier statements which suggested acknowledging all of your needs and sharing your attention. The key is, to do the above with curiosity, experimentation and surrender instead of the expectation that something has to get done which leads to driving or forcing yourself to take it all on.

It also means looking at any superhuman tendencies you are expecting of yourself. This is where perfectionism, imposter syndrome and proving yourself mode come in, consistently raising the bar and telling us we aren’t good enough . . . yet . . . but if we just do this next thing . . .

Yeah right! I call malarkey! When we constantly have parts of ourselves raising the bar will always feel less than if we listen to them. Which means we will constantly take on more than we can handle or beat ourselves up when we can’t do it all. Try choosing reasonable and realistic expectations for yourself instead and see what happens!

Trying out some of the above will have you feeling better. You might even find yourself getting exactly what the Rolling Stones were singing about!

“Timeeee is on my side, yes it is”

I hope you enjoyed this article! Please like and share with those who will find it helpful :)

And if you’ve found yourself doing the continuous head nod during this post, you may find my Confident CEO Assessment helpful.

It will assess the 4 areas where Imposter Syndrome shows up, one of them being TIME!

Jen

P.S. We’ve got a lovely group of women already invested in the November Confident CEO Mastery 4 week class “Let go of Self Doubt + Step Into Your Calling”.

We begin first week in November and it’s such an important course I’ve created.

You have gifts.

They are meant to be shared.

Period.

If you are finding that second guessing yourself, indecision and fear of visibility are affecting you from rising up into your full self, check out all the details for this November here: bit.ly/CEOMasteryExperience

10 Ways to Cope When Your Life + Business Feels Unmanageable

Hi there! It’s Jen here, CEO Mentor, Licensed Expert Therapist + Abstract Artist.

Today I’m going to talk about 10 Ways to Cope when your Life and Business feels unmanageable. Many of these strategies can be applied to life events in general, so feel free to be generous with yourself!

1. Acknowledge it.

This seems like the most obvious but you’d be surprised how easily it is to shy away from reality and what is actually happening. We often slip right past stating the obvious, overthinking a deeper meaning or trying to analyze or hack the way around what is going on.

This is because when things feel unmanageable an we are in the fight or flight response, we go into problem solving mode. This mode actually does us a disservice when we are being mindful.

To acknowledge something, we have to be present. We can use all sorts of cues that bring us into the moment to do this.

• How you are feeling (frustrated, angry, sad, tired etc)

• What sensations you are experiencing (neck pain, racing heartbeat, shortness of breath, tension in your wrists etc)

• Stating the facts (Example: Today I felt exhausted after that presentation and had no energy left to do anything. I don’t like feeling that way.)

2. Give Yourself Uninterrupted Time To Reflect

Take an inventory of everything that you’ve been doing over the past several days and weeks.

• Have their been any new life events?

• Are there any transitions that are happening in your life?

• Did you just start implementing a new strategy in your business?

• Is a new strategy you are using not working?

• How has your work/life balance been?

• Is it time to outsource something?

Taking time to reflect on what is going on is really an extension of the first way to cope.

However, we are going deeper.

Instead of just acknowledging the feeling and reality of not being able to keep up with all that we are doing, we are getting into the nitty gritty details and being honest with ourselves.

3. Rest

This probably feels like the last thing you have time for or need to do right now because it feels like there is too much going on. This is the exact reason why you need to do it.

Whenever the body and mind are communicating that something is of utmost urgency (and your life is truly not in danger) than it is your flight or fight response talking.

Running a business and doing life are not sustainable when we are in constant go mode. The only way to switch out of the flight or fight response is to start resting your body. This is how the relaxation response will kick in and bring you back to balance.

It’s going to feel extremely uncomfortable at first to do less or stop altogether. Try to set a timer. If 15 minutes feels like a stretch, do that. If an hour does, try that. There is no right amount of time and different people have different needs.

4. Tell someone you trust

Never underestimate the power of sharing what you are going through. Bonus points if you share with someone who is going through the same thing right now or has had similar experiences as you have.

When things feel unmanageable, we often feel alone or like we have the weight of the world on our shoulders. We can also feel like no one truly understands. These are parts of ourselves, not our true self feeling this way and by sharing, we shed some light on the fact that we are never really alone.

5. Unmanageability is not who you are.

As mentioned in the previous point, unmanageability is coming from a part of yourself that is feeling this way. It may be an extremely valid point of view. It definitely has a lot to share. (See #1 and #2 on more prompts for how to do this)

However, when you can see that the unmanageability is not all of who you are, it helps you get distance from it. Parts that are hurting calm down when they feel heard.

6. Let go of judging yourself

Unmanageability comes up for everyone at different times. Try not to use this an opportunity for beating yourself up for taking too much on. Life is a learning process and we have to try things out in order to know what works and what doesn’t. If this is a common pattern for you, you may want to check out my Free CONFIDENT CEO ASSESSMENT to see if Imposter Syndrome is affecting you and your biz.

7. Surrender

Be okay with not having an immediate answer. I know it’s going to feel really urgent to get things straightened out, but it’s going to take time to first and foremost bring your nervous system back to center and then keep evaluating what changes you can implement.

Surrender can look like:

• Taking deep breaths in and out and saying: “I trust the process”.

• Visualizing taking all of your problems and placing them in the hands of a buddha or other spiritual or wise figure.

• Putting your worries onto little pieces of paper and placing them into a jar.

8. Know you will get through this

There are ebbs and flows to life. This is just one of them. This is not evidence of your failure or that you aren’t cut out for what you are doing. It could be a sign that you have pivot or change courses, but that is only something you will know once the storm has passed. Try not to make drastic life and business altering decisions when you are in this state. Let things unfold and wait for more answers with time.

9. Depend on Your Higher Self

Know that you have a true higher self that is looking out for you. This higher self wants to help you. It wants to take care of you. It is within you at all times even when you can’t feel it or relate to it. It is there even when you don’t believe it is.

10. Do something for release

Find an activity where you can burn off some steam. Whether that be painting, exercise, taking a bath or singing at the top of your lungs to loud music, give yourself the opportunity to let go of that excess energy. This will help to calm and relax you faster and will bring clarity much sooner than holding on and stuffing the feelings away.

I hope you found these 10 ways to cope when your life + business feels unmanageable helpful!

You may wish to download my Confident CEO Assessment where you can diagnose where Imposter Syndrome is showing up in your business so you can release self doubt and confidently step into your calling.

Also, this November I am running my new class,  CONFIDENT CEO MASTERY for the first time.

Check out what we will learn together in Confident CEO Mastery:

• The Roadmap to Being Called - what it looks like, what it feels like and what to expect so you aren't hanging out on a scary island with no direction, navigating impending storms & hiding for cover

• The 4 Archetypes of the Empowered Woman - You will understand how these archetypes show up in your life & biz and how to know when you are leading from the disempowered parts of yourself instead of the empowered.

• The specific way self doubt + Imposter Syndrome shows up for you. - Understand why it's there, what it's protective intentions are and how to release it. A creative mandala exercise will be used to map your internal grid.

• How to Heal + Recharge Your Energy - Let go of burden and prevent energy leaks that show up with time, money + presence. This lesson will teach you how to listen deeply to your body's signs and to protect your own energy first before you share it with another.

• BONUS SESSION if you sign up within 48 hours  Free Attendance at my Woman's Event where we will practice surrendering to our higher selves, develop unique personal rituals for connecting with our intuition and delve further into embodying mastery of the empowered confident CEO thru meditation, music + movement.

Now is a great time to join us because I am running it live this first go around. That means the November Program will be tailored to specifically to you and the questions you have!

To living an inspired 5 star life and biz!

xo,

Jen

Why the Work Hustle Doesn’t Work and What to do instead

As I sit here pondering what to share with you this week, the words stillness and surrender seem to keep arising in their many forms.

In a world that teaches us that we have to continually be doing, racing, chasing, forcing, making things happen, hustling . . . I have found quite the opposite to be true.

The more I do all of the above, the worse things get for me. It’s definitely an addiction. I’d say it’s my biggest one. Doing. And the telltale signs of it? Noticing how my inner critic jumps in when I practice doing nothing. It loves to dish out the shame and get me thinking I need to be more productive and show something for myself.

Pin it:

“The more I do all of the above, the worse things get for me. It’s definitely an addiction. I’d say it’s my biggest one. Doing.”

The more I let go of busying myself with the outside world while simultaneously listening to the inner callings within, the more my true self becomes who I identify with.

I remember reading stuff like what I just wrote and being fascinated, enthralled and at the same time mystified with a WTF is this person talking about?

The true self, (what same may call enlightenment or being awakened) seemed like this esoteric, exciting pinnacle of existence that I wanted to achieve.

I’d see humans with their writings online and I’d absorb their teachings. People like Burt Harding and Adyashanti and Pema Chodron.

And at the same time I felt they were special. I remember the first time I read an excerpt from Pema which described an experience she had where she was enraged from finding out her boyfriend was cheating on her and she took an expensive household item on display and threw it.

I remember reading that Adyashanti was married.

Or that Ram Dass decided to be single because being in a relationship was just too challenging for him. He didn’t like how relationships pulled him out of his communion with God and honestly shared, he wasn’t up for the challenges required of being in a romantic relationship .

It was comments like these that had me at first feeling confused, these spiritual teachers have feelings and problems and relationships?

Eventually I understood more deeply the very real and accessible nature of the true self and how it’s a journey for everyone. That it’s right here. It’s in this day, in this body, in this moment.

That spiritual teachers are just humans.

That it isn’t an all or nothing experience- it actually is full of levels and spirals and different shades.

That the true self isn’t an experience to be achieved or attained- it is who we really are and we don’t have to do anything to get to it. All we have to do is keep looking at what isn’t the true self with compassion and nonjudgment.

It is right here, in this moment.

Pin it:

“It does not mean that I don’t take action.

It means that I take action from a place of nondoing.

At first this nondoingness is a literal need to just sit here and not move from this spot until I get my nervous system regulated.”

This is why I teach a different approach to assisting women in stepping into their calling.

It’s one that includes a lot of rest, a lot of contemplation, reflection and nondoing.

I find that as I practice the teachings I share with others, this is the way for me.

It does not mean that I don’t take action.

It means that I take action from a place of nondoing.

At first this nondoingness is a literal need to just sit here and not move from this spot until I get my nervous system regulated.

It could look like sitting in a meditation or visualization for an hour as I wait for pains, aches, skin crawly sensations and gut wrenching feelings to pass.

It could be throwing my legs up onto stacks of pillows as I let fresh oxygenated blood come into my core as I can feel the energy returning to my body.

Eventually, this physical nondoing, or what Pema Chodron refers to as, holding your seat, starts to emerge even while I’m doing.

I can pause in the middle of something, and feel the spaciousness, stillness and presence.

I can notice when it doesn’t feel that way and realize I have to stop, pause, potentially for long lengths of time and trust that I will be guided to act again once the awareness of my true self returns.

I do believe that we have to take actions in order to live according to our deepest calling.

However, I do not believe that those actions are in our own timing.

What do I mean by this? I mean that it is the timing of our true self.

When we are aligned with our True Self, actions will feel open, spacious, uplifting and warm.

When we are aligned with fear, or our over or under regulated nervous system, we will feel tense, forceful, driven, exhausted or rushed.

We can take whatever actions we want, however, when we take actions that are aligned with our true self, they will be actions that reap the longterm reward of peace and outcomes better than our surface desires.

When we take actions outside of this centered self, we often find ourselves more stressed, run down and potentially out of commission for days, months or years. You can find out more which areas of your life and biz these actions are showing up by taking my simple Confident CEO Assessment here.

This is not to judge when we do make choices outside of the true self.

It is a natural human journey to keep deciding and then to get to know our true self better.

This is what I teach in my upcoming course, Confident CEO Mastery. It is not another course to arm and guard you to move forward on your journey with more steel to protect you and make the outside world “work” for you.

It is a course that will allow you tap more deeply into your innermost strength, your foundation of Self so that you can develop a life and business that is aligned with who you truly are and what you truly want.

We will discuss the natural progression of stepping into your calling, so that you have a roadmap to understand what is going on.

We will learn how to trust our highest selves through finding out what our highest self is not. We will discover how to make choices without draining energy.

We will take the shame and judgment off of self abandonment and soulbreak which keep us disconnected from our lifeforce and our calling.

We will understand the archetypes of the empowered woman and how to embody these energies while living lives in relationships, professionally and with our to- do lists.

It is a course not to do more, but to release more. It is meant honor you, your rhythms and nurture you from the inside out.

To find out more about the upcoming 4 week online experience in November, you can find all of the details here.

You can also reply with a comment and I am happy to answer any questions!

Lot’s of love my friends,

Jen

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and share with others :)

How to recognize + let go of self consciousness while running a business

As a teen, I always felt like I needed to prove myself. 

I didn’t see myself. I didn’t believe in myself. I felt safest being useful, hypervigilant & stoic.

I was confused and self conscious with a need to fit in and compare myself with others.

Can you relate??

All of my clients eventually crack into their inner teenager at some point. 

Why? 

Because it's a super difficult age where everyone is self conscious but pretends not to be. 

Because most teens don't know that adolescence is awkward and uncomfortable.

And because we all end up storing this experience in our nervous system because we most likely didn't receive guidance ushering us through it .

Or weren't given the skills and understanding on how to navigate it.

Did you know the teenage brain doesn’t have a fully formed complex thinking capability to step back from intense emotions?

In addition to the normal discomfort that came along with being a teenager, I actually wasn’t being seen. Many of us aren't. 

I didn't have anyone to talk to about my feelings. 

My brain was processing things developmentally at a new level and I didn't know how to interpret all the information (boys, self doubt, shame, depression, family expectations, progressive family dysfunction). 

And I wasn't supposed to know how! 

I would be nominated for the gifted & talented program, win awards, have boys asking me out and because what was on the INSIDE wasn’t being seen, I couldn't absorb any of it.

I became a shell filled with worry, overthinking, shame and doubt. It didn’t matter how many successes I had or how things might have looked on the outside, it wasn’t possible for me to see myself clearly.

The doubt & shame were like big funhouse tinted mirrors that distorted my entire world. And yet, simultaneously, they kept telling me it was my fault.

You might be wondering...

What does my teenage self have to do with showing up and being confident in business?

It actually has EVERYTHING to do with it. 

I carried these ways of thinking for decades and found that these same patterns showed up in my jobs, in my relationships and definitely prevented me from getting visible earlier.

Long after my teenage years, I still felt like that same young girl who kept trying to show up, yet felt unfulfilled, stuck and trapped. 

"What if I try this out and no one cares or wants to participate in my courses and retreats?"

"What if I keep spending money on trainings and I still get nowhere? "

"What if I get my hopes up again? There's probably no point because I'm just going to be disappointed"

"I'm just not cut out for this."

"I'm never going to figure this out."

The thoughts felt like an engine constantly running and sputtering beneath the surface.

The questions and the worries went on and on. I was caught in a self doubt cycle that I didn't know how to stop.

How do I stop feeling this way?
Why am I still thinking about that conversation?
How can I possibly share that?

What would it be like if I could just feel comfortable in my own skin?

Of course, then I’d burn out and have an emotional hangover of exhaustion, because I'd run out of fuel due to high intensity obsessive thought exertion and there was no adrenaline left to keep my body going. 

It wasn't until:

I learned how to take care of her, how to release those old rules and fake lies about needing to hide that things started to shift.

I found a mentor who got me, who saw me, when no one else could see me and showed me the way to heal and the freedom to be myself.

I was given a clear step by step path to follow and the support to take me through the spiral of healing I would revisit continuously.

Take a moment to think back to your teenage years . . .

What are some common emotions and themes you experience during that time?

Did you ever have anyone to talk to about your feelings?

If you did, were there certain topics that were left unspoken?

Do you notice any similarities to what you didn’t get to talk about when you were growing up and how you think about yourself today?

Give it a thought or a quick journaling and see what you come up with!

xo Jen

P.S.

The story above is a culmination of why I’ve created The Confident CEO Mastery Group Coaching Program.

It’s a 4 week group coaching experience designed to help creative, talented, heart-centered women CEO’s, just like you, go from feeling self doubt + imposter syndrome to being the confident, successful bosses of their dream businesses, while experiencing massive fulfillment & freedom in their everyday lives.

In short, I want to support you in the ways that have transformed my life so you can go from self doubt to confident, starting now. Take a peek and just hit reply and leave a comment and let me know if you have any questions :)

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And share away!

Symptoms of Imposter Syndrome and How to Release Them (aka How Spilling a Glass of Water Became a Spiritual Experience)

Hello my friend,

As I sit here with my new computer, I'm reminded how life events that happen to us aren't about what they seem. 

You see, a few weeks ago, I spilled an entire glass of water on my laptop. Ouch. 

As I realized over time that there was more permanent damage than I had anticipated, my mind started to run through the usual:

• self blame over wasting money
  

• fears about being careless and mindless
  

• worry about what others would think when they found out
  

• concern about how to get a new one
  

All of these boiled down to deeper beliefs I've maintained over the years:

• that money is scarce 
  

• that there is such a thing as a setback
  

• that other people's opinions are more important than my own
  

• that accidents are my fault 

Luckily, I have a slew of tools to help me address these fears and deeper beliefs, to the point now where I practice embracing the possibility that this situation has happened for a reason, even while it appears that this a problem (for the reasons my mind is telling me above).

I then choose to decide that I can continue to keep looking at this problem with the fear based parts of my mind, or I can choose to let it be looked at by my highest self.  I can keep replaying the thoughts about what I've done wrong over and over again alone, or I can ask my higher self to show me how she will use this situation for good. 

It’s a cultural paradigm that we believe something outside of us is our source.

What if you truly, and I mean truly, emotionally 100% without a doubt believed that the source of all happiness, peace and abundance is within you?

I’ve spent years trying to fix things on the outside because I thought the answers were out “there”. .

How could I do any differently! It’s what I learned from all around me. .

Yet, a voice within kept guiding me to look closer. Pay attention. Hear what the alarm bells within were saying.

Making me my first priority has reaped so many benefits in my life. .

I’ve released bucket loads of shame and insecurities.

I am in a loving and healthy relationship after decades of believing I was doing something wrong in dating and abandoning myself in the process.

Ive run my own business for 6 years and supported myself consistently throughout all of this time.

I’ve healed Acid reflux, ulcers, layers of muscle tension, muscle convulsions, fibromyalgia, anxiety, ptsd, depression and more through choosing over and over again to listen to what I need first.

What does this look like?

Recognizing pain/fear/worry/stress as something that needs attention.

Recognizing lack of energy means I’m meant to take time to refill it.

Recognizing that my limits are telling me more about who I am and also about who I am not.

Knowing that I get to be myself and that is enough to receive all the gifts of life. 

The signals from our bodies are asking for attention.

So if you are noticing certain symptoms coming up…

• lack of time

• decrease in energy

• self consciousness

• overwhelm

• exhaustion

• doubts about your decision making skills

• questioning your own authority

• worrying what others think

• rarely giving yourself credit

• a tough inner critic

• burn out

Know that they are coming up for a reason.

And for those that I work with who are deciding to step deeply into their calling each and every day, this is a breeding ground for the above symptoms to come in and hijack us!

These symptoms of Imposter Syndrome (believing we can't possibly be the brilliant, compassionate, loving lightworking leaders of our daily lives and businesses) can distract us and lead us astray. 

However, these symptoms actually mean we are being signaled to step into greatness more.

It means we are at a crossroads where the old ways of doing things don’t work anymore.

When ever a situation that is uncomfortable comes up . . . You are being asked to dig deeper into your calling.

What does your True Self really want? How does your True Self really want to feel?

This is where your power lies. This is where the answers are. These are the outcomes that will guide your actions.

Because when you acknowledge the desires that are aligned with your soul, when you let your soul take care of those symptoms of Imposter Syndrome, you are being led towards the greatest possible path unique to you for happiness, love and fulfillment..and of course peace.

A calling isn’t a task or an expectation or a checkbox. It’s your true nature and it’s required if you are ready to be confident AF in your biz and in life.

To defy those rules learned from family and society: to not speak up, to forget about feeling and trusting, to stay small, please others, damper your emotions, cater, submit, not be emotional, aggressive, loud, believe in scarcity and in self blame (insert your rule of choice here) means that
each rule you defy, you step deeper into that greatness. And you know it’s time when you are being signaled by all those uncomfortable symptoms, fears, broken lap tops and much, much bigger challenges that cross our paths on a daily basis.


So what are your symptoms?
And what would it be like to see them as signs to wake up more deeply into your calling?

xo

Jen

P.S. If you’d like support in deepening your connection to your inner confidence so you can step into your calling, check out my 4 week group coaching experience for women entrepreneurs ready to embody their true inner leader, click here! 

And if you haven’t signed up for my Confident CEO Assessment, you can do so here. This assessment will help you review 4 areas where Imposter Syndrome may be affecting you in your life and business.

What is the true meaning of confidence?

There have been many times when I’ve heard the word confidence and cringed.

I also remember feeling insulted when a relationship coach years ago told me that we should work on my confidence.  

And yet, why did parts of myself give confidence such a bad wrap?  Why was I having these reactions?

Unpacking this, I realized part of this was because when I examined the word confidence, it drudged up all these past memories of when I felt insecure, less than and unconfident.

In particular, when I was a teenager and in my 20’s. (Yeah, you know what I’m talking about!)

Hearing and seeing the word confidence was like poking a finger into an open wound.  

Especially when I all I wanted was to feel better and have all the things it appeared that confident people had.

However, I learned repeatedly that it didn’t matter what I tried to fix on the outside or how much I tried to change my thinking, I always ended up feeling more ashamed of myself. 

Another reason demystified: I’d unknowingly glazed over the experience of confidence with the projections of cockiness, popularity and superficiality.

For someone who felt as insecure as I did, the word confidence felt like a cartoonish exaggeration because it was so far out of my comfort zone.

And an even deeper reason for the aversion to confidence was that it seemed like something I could “get” or “achieve” or “become”. 

Trying to get somewhere from a place of trying to get something always kicks up my shame even more because it reinforces the feeling of not being enough. 

So striving for the illusive confidence was just making me feel...more unconfident :/

It wasn’t until I recognized in my heart the true meaning of confidence after putting myself out there again and again in my business.

Not the meaning that younger parts of my childhood self had adopted.

Not the meaning media or magazines or commercials portrayed. 

No, true confidence in business (and in any area) is an internal state.

But more than that, it’s the place where everything that’s consistent, wise, clear and calm stems from within us. 

True confidence is connection to self.

True confidence means letting go of putting faith in something outside myself.

True confidence is already who I am.

I don’t need to do anything to become more confident. It is already my true nature.

To allow my true nature to shine through, all I need to do is remove the layers that are blocking that confidence.

Which means letting go of what’s not working.

The more that is stripped away, the more confidence naturally appears as my centered state.

.

I must surrender to the place within myself that is that authenticity.

Because true confidence is authenticity.

My doubt about confidence being my true nature...

My doubt that I won’t be led more deeply into this true nature...

My doubt that convinces me I need to find something outside of myself to be more confident...

is the only thing that is unclear about the real me.

Not my strengths and gifts.

Self doubt exists when I don’t trust me, the me that rests in truth.

Real confidence comes from consistently practicing letting go of any doubt that I can gain confidence anywhere outside of the real me.

This is why first and foremost I practice a spiritual foundation in my business.

Because when I try to do things the other way, things get nutty...fast. 

Comparisons become like fast growing weeds.

Fear of failure and rejection too. 

And what do you know, I’ve now psyched myself out and distracted myself from my calling when I take this path.

Not because I’m not good enough, but because I’m listening to the voices that are substituting their own answers with faulty programming.

Instead is the wise voice of the centered, confident, higher self. 

If you’d like support in deepening your connection to your inner confidence so you can step into your calling, check out my 4 week group coaching experience for women entrepreneurs ready to embody their true inner leader, click here!